Madrid

I cannot write about European countries with the same frankness and interest. They seem too familiar and clear to find any spice or intrigue in them.

After all, you travel to the Middle East, Africa, or Iran for history — and it’s a history you don’t know well. Whereas you go to Europe for vacation. Well, honestly, who is interested in the Spanish Civil War and the history of Francisco Franco?

Let’s just go for a walk!

⁂

The heart of Madrid is Sol Square and the surrounding historical neighborhoods. The square itself is completely uninteresting. In the morning, it is traditionally littered with piles of garbage.

This is because every night the square turns into a gigantic party with impassable crowds of tourists and colorful neon advertising.

Next to Sol Square, there is another square called Main Square, or Plaza Mayor. And once again, we have an absolutely uninteresting, dull square in the middle of the city. Even the monument is enclosed by a small fence — how cute.

In the morning, Main Square also has piles of garbage, and in the evening it is full of tourists eating. However, the square boasts remarkably colorful sunsets.

In Madrid, there are a few more squares, but from these two, it’s clear: open spaces are not the strong suit of Spanish cities. That’s why we’ll go explore the streets and alleyways.

And here are the streets in Madrid — divine. Take one step off the Main Square: a slanted house, converging alleys. Bliss.

Madrid is one of the southernmost capitals in Europe. It’s always warm here, and in summer, temperatures easily reach 40 degrees Celsius in the shade. If it weren’t for trees in the city, Spaniards would go mad from the heat and might turn into Moroccans. However, Spaniards remain Spaniards, so the entire city center and residential areas are lined with trees.

Moroccan neighborhoods begin closer to the south of Madrid, and here you can feel less care and more heat. Long, sinuous streets without a single tree ascend or descend from the hill, disappearing around corners and peeking out from behind turns.

But no city in the world can be spoiled if it is built on a mountainous landscape. A winding street on a slope is the most dramatic urban scenery there is.

Even in the ghetto neighborhoods, Madrid remains itself — vibrant, warm, and cozy. Oh, if only houses in Russia were painted like this... well, no, maybe it’s better not to.

They say somewhere in Madrid, there are really scary African neighborhoods where you can get robbed, and every other thug sells hashish. Well, I don’t know. Either I didn’t go there, or that’s just what those neighborhoods are like.

In any case, there are indeed many Africans here, and it’s true that every other person offers to smoke hash with them. And people write about it in their blogs as if it were something bad.

In one such neighborhood, next to a basketball court, a dog park, and a gathering spot for clearly Moroccan teenagers, I sat on one of the benches and carefully arranged my provisions: a piece of Camembert cheese, slices of sausage, a bit of Jamón ibérico, a chunk of watermelon, and a can of Dr. Pepper — and I devoured it all at once, oblivious to everything around me.

It seemed that a few Moroccans approached me with hashish, but I didn’t care: I was already on the verge of overdosing on illicit substances.

Yes, that’s right. Madrid is not perceived in broad strokes; it is beautiful in its details. Royal palaces and majestic cathedrals look alien in Madrid, as if they were brought here from Berlin or Rome and placed wherever possible.

The business districts and modern skyscrapers are unattractive and spoil the overall impression of the city to such an extent that one feels like running away from them.

Although modern architecture itself is not necessarily bad, this American-British style with monstrous semi-circular buildings covered in neon advertising doesn’t suit Madrid at all. Piccadilly Circus and Times Square are better left to London and New York.

In these neighborhoods, everything is filled with the traditions of a metropolis. The Africans are especially good: they sell all sorts of small items illegally and and quickly wrap up all the goods in a cleverly designed elastic sheet at the sight of danger.

This street, Gran Via, passing through the city alongside tall Empire-style buildings, is called the “Spanish Broadway.”

But Madrid doesn’t need its own Broadway — and you want to get away from it too. That’s why a traveler, after gazing at palaces, cathedrals, squares, and broadways, returns to where they started — to narrow alleys. And strolls through them again, scrutinizing the details even more diligently.

The details of Madrid are the true calling card of Spain. What will the traveler see first among the details? The city has the most incredible street signs.

Every street in Madrid named after a person has such a sign, assembled from 9 ceramic tiles with a portrait or drawing, and a caption in a soft antique font. By the way, these signs are quite new and appeared in the city several decades ago, but they look like historical ones.

I wonder, do workers clean the signs from the street or do the residents themselves do it from their balconies? Convenient: just reach out and wipe Philip V.

The second noticeable detail is the beautiful sign of the Madrid metro, which resembles the one in London.

The entrance to the metro is also designed like in London and Paris: the staircase goes down right in the middle of the sidewalk. It’s beautiful.

But the greatest Spanish delight is the most beautiful balconies in the world, which you can endlessly gaze at.

What can we say about the Spanish balcony from the perspective of an ordinary tourist? It must almost certainly be adorned with greenery.

A balcony cannot be large: at most, you can stick one leg out of the apartment and stand, holding onto the railing.

The balcony must have shutters so that you can close them during the day to protect yourself from the heat.

It’s great if the balcony overlooks a tree — it will be even cooler in the summer, and you can also climb home through the branches directly from the pub.

If there is a sculpture in the house, it is essential to exhibit it on the balcony — let the street transform into a museum of contemporary art.

It is desirable to arrange the houses in such a way that the colors do not repeat and the balconies are at different levels. Having identical balcony designs is unacceptable. And you can only paint the walls with the sunniest paint.

It is very good if the balcony is covered with an awning.

And it’s absolutely wonderful if they pour beer and serve tapas right under the balcony.

The ultimate dream is an Irish pub with Guinness right under the windows.

I don’t know how it is for those Spaniards whose windows overlook countless promenade alleys. From midday until night, people here eat, drink, and thousands of tourists loudly enjoy life.

Indeed, in Madrid, hardly any street can do without tourists.

And tourists in Spain, believe me, use every means of transport and every way of making noise.

Where can a simple Spaniard, used to siestas and a fedora, go to escape the summer heat and tourist noise?

Oh yes, in Madrid, there are places to relax in the coolness.

The central city park is such a dense thicket that it feels cool here even when it’s +40 in the city. Additionally, in the park, you can see contemporary art and architecture.

In general, it turns out that everything exists in Madrid: palaces, streets, details, and pieces of a metropolis. I don’t even know how to find fault with the Spanish capital.

I would rather give the reader a few pieces of advice. Avoid squares, museums, and palaces — they spoil the overall impression of the city.

Don’t waste your time on the outskirts — instead of cozy courtyards, they build unimaginable horrors there.

Explore the narrow, shady streets of central Madrid, indulge in tapas, and drink sangria.

Go for a walk early in the morning, spend your days sitting by the fountains in parks, and spend your evenings on the rooftop of the hostel in the old town.

If you follow these rules, it’s impossible not to love Madrid.